Christmas Gift Ideas

Day 6 :

Bracelets

Nowadays there are more and more men wearing leather style bracelets, silver and other such jewellery. It is not just us women so bracelets make a great Christmas gift. Especially big statement pieces like the Saint Laurent cuffs.

Brands like Monica Vinader are hugely popular especially as they also now engrave in store, making your gift all that more special.

I love their new Bali bracelet ( as Its where I got married ) so I definitly will be adding this to my list and the marry me inscription would be fab if your thinking of proposing and don't know how.

There are so many gorgeous ones to choose from.

The best brands to look at for me are not only Monica Vinader, but again Bottega Veneta, Alexander Mcqueen and Saint Laurent.

I also love, love the Tiffany T range on the other end of the scale and Jennifer Meyer because no person would ever be dissapointed with that little robin egg blue box witha ribbon xx

And then there were three.......

Wow, so the last time I wrote about being home was in October 2012, and what has happened since then? Well....

Finally we are settled in our own place in Hertfordshire in a beautiful little town.  Its everything we could want in a an area, 2 minutes away from family who we see most days, lovely little restaurants and pubs, walking distance to everything we need and only 40 minutes into London by train so when we do want to leave we aren't far from anything. Our friends and family are near enough to go and see when we want to see them,  if not we are just happily settled in this little town we now called home.

So after a year of natural trying, not scheduled .... we did try that at one point but it was making me feel so awful every month it didn't happen it was easier to just let it happen with less pressure, so when it finally did we were ecstatic.

SO by Christmas this year we will be a firm family of three, all being well, with a perfect Christmas baby to that is going to bring us all the love in the world as a family.

We couldn't be more excited as it is all we have both wanted since we got married. It was the natural step for us and now it is happening words cant describe how amazing it is, the excitement of what is going to happen next for us as a family is amazing, however no one warned me about how stressful pregnancy can be. Now I say stressful, maybe thats the wrong word, just full of worry.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant I have worried, every morning every night is the baby moving, is it ok, is it alive?   I even went as far as borrowing a friends 'doppler' to check the babies heart beat for when I am worried, I mean what has happened to me? I have turned int a crazy fool!!!    Its a daily worry,  am I harming the baby? stretching too far?  too high? lifting too much? over doing it too much?  eating the wrong thing? not eating enough? over eating? straining myself?  god the lists go on.

 I have never been this person before. Who am I turning into?

I know you are just meant to relax and let nature run its course, the body is an amazing thing and can deal with most things naturally but  of course you worry.  Especially as a first time mummy you don't know what to expect and as much as anyone can tell you the feelings and pains and aches and sickness just all feel so alien and strange to you, what is normal?  what isn't?

Up until I was literally past 3 months and 1 day I felt awful, I had morning sickness, lunch time sickness, afternoon sickness aches pains, tiredness everything that you can get, and as Im not the healthiest person in terms of taking daily vitamins and  enough fruit and veg my iron became even lower than normal which in turn affected my breathing so subsequently I now have an inhaler.

Oh the joys of what pregnancy can heighten or bring out.  I suppose no one really tells you too many negatives or the downsides apart from sickness as your meant to just enjoy and not worry. But you can't help it, well I cant.

I know it will all be worth it and now I am a week away from 5 months I feel amazing again, the sickness has gone, I feel better in myself and I am enjoying it, however the growing pains and the worry are still there.

Its funny the bond you already feel with your baby already, this teeny tiny human being growing inside of you, depending on you, makes me feel so protective already and it just amazes me how anyone deals with the loss of an unborn child at any stage throughout their pregnancy. My heart would break if this happened, but it does to so many women to women I have known or know.

Once you know you are pregnant and are carrying a child that is so longed for and loved already the feeling is amazing and the thought of losing it is devastating, no matter what stage that baby is yours and you feel that emotion and connection.

As someone who is generally laid back and not a huge worrier I have surprised myself as to how much I have driven myself crazy, probably far too much. I constantly ask other mothers what they felt or go through for reassurance.  Its the only way to help you become more relaxed by talking to other mums.

I know children are  a constant worry from the minute they are born and I have a lifetime ahead of it, thats natural I just didn't realise how much you can worry all through the pregnancy too. I don't even want to think about childbirth, and as for one born every minute I can't even contemplate watching a minute of it.  Is it wrong that I am this way?  Should I not be reading and listening and absorbing as much information as I can?

 Im hoping its just because its the first time, Im sure if we have another I wont even have any concerns as I will know what to expect.

Thank god I have a patient supportive family around me !! I bet they will be glad when this pregnancy is over too!!!

So I will continue now to stay positive and happy and just embrace the best parts of this pregnancy and look forward to all the joys our baby will bring us rather than stressing myself about what may or may not happen. Eek I wish it was that easy ....x

Roll on December the 15th is all I can say and Im only half the way there, hurry up baby Carter we can't wait to meet you.

xx

We couldn't exist without them

Mothers day.... the day where we thank our mums for everything they have ever done for us our whole lives, and really it is our whole lives up to this point and forever more.

For where would we be without them?

Our mothers gave birth to us, went through 9 months carrying us, hours maybe days of labour and then a lifetime of support be it financial or emotional.

They taught us how to dress, how to eat, speak, think, how much did we do on our own for how long?

When did we finally look after ourselves? Have we ever stopped?

I know that I still ring my mum, maybe not as often as I did, but i still call her/need her, especially when I'm in Tescos and need to know what ingredients I need again for a curry that I've cooked 100 times and can she just email me the recipe for the 1millienth time as I have forgot AGAIN or can she lend me some money as I haven't been paid and I promise I will give it back ( of course she knows full well she will never ever see it again ) but that's what mums do, its almost in their job description ( that we  happily give them)  to bail us out, listen, accept the wrong boyfriends who they know we will never end up with,  let you dress like Marilyn manson in your teens because you swear that you will love him forever, stick Take That posters on your wall with sellotape because you promise you will never rip them down because you will love Robbie forever and ever ( who knew they'd make a come back and actually you could have kept the poster up ) then  as the poster gets replaced with Usher and she says " I thought you loved Take that " with a smirk on her face and then as soon as the dodgy relationship is over she will quickly say when you break up "he was never good enough for you" and how we love them for never telling us at the time, because she just wanted us to be happy and live the life we want to live, experience life.  A mother will go along with most things we love to keep us happy because they know it wont be forever.

Did I ever really listen to what my mum said? Only half the time, I probably still don't listen now. In fact i know I still dont listen very well, whoops!!

It is only now I see the reasons why my mum told me not to stick my elbows out in the shower, and why I should dry my hair properly and brush my hair to the ends, and wipe my feet before I get out the bath....all of these things, and in fact today whilst I was was calling to say Happy Mothers day she actually said 'don't go out with wet hair darling', like she has a telepathic power that she knows I was going to do that ( which of course I was ).

Mums know us better than anyone, and how we sometimes hate that they do,  but what we often find is that they come through for us every time because they do know us so well, they will sit and listen and empathise and probably say I told you so but not in the way anyway else can get away with, for they are the ones who raised us, wiped out tears when we fall and are angry, frustrated with life and the triasl of growing up, mums are there  and always will be.  Dads are there, of course they are, but mums have that little extra edge ... for which we are ever grateful or should be, and even if your relationship isn't always perfect or maybe you dont even see your mum at all anymore or maybe they aren't with you now,  they most certainly were at the beginning.

This mothers day I haven't just thought about my mum who raised me but the mother who I know now and who gave birth to me. I have her to thank, like I did when I met her, the first thing I said was "thank you" when I met her, "thank you for giving me a chance".

 No she didn't raise me, teach me how to tie my shoe laces, brush my hair, dress myself,love and look after other people,cook, treat others how I want to be treated, but she gave me the start of a life that I will eternally be grateful for.

So whatever 'mother' means to you, be it by birth, by adoption, by surrogacy, step-mother by anything ......be thankful. Hopefully this time next year I may be one myself.

Courtesy costs nothing and benefits all.

So this is a bit of a rant.

My sister-in-law who has a fabulous new Vintage Tea Company that has stemmed from her already amazing cup cake business has started doing wedding fairs to promote the new side of her business.

Now if anyone has ever been to a wedding fair you will know they aren't the most exciting things.

Her stand, like all her stands at farmers markets and other fairs is in a different class from any others, and of course I am biased but genuinely anyone who sees her cakes is amazed.

The layout, the vintage cups and saucers, tablecloths, glasses, the 40's dresses that the girls serve you, all in a vintage theme that brings you into the atmosphere which is created wherever you like, for any occasion.

Unless you are at a huge Olympia type event they are pretty standard events.  You have all your usual wedding vendors, chair cover businesses, florists, photographers, bridal gown supplies, everything you can imagine you need for your wedding in one room.


So our first wedding fair was at  a small hotel, not ideal,  but a great start to give us an idea of what they are about and of course local to us, so business wise had potential.

The main thing about these fairs is the great networking between businesses. You meet some amazing people who want to help and support you and promote your business so that you will do the same, which is the idea really, to work together and be a part of something. These events are also not cheap to attend.

Now my sister in law is very generous so at the end of the wedding fair and throughout she will offer her handmade beautiful cakes and cupcakes to other stalls and visitors.  At the end of the event she will always take a plate around and give the other vendors huge slices and generous amounts, who of course all  take it with open arms and smiling faces.

So .....

Today whilst we are sat at our vintage tea party among visitors passing by one of the other vendors a tall man, bald head ( bit camp) who runs a florists  which i will name as AMIE BONE flowers , based in Hertfordshire, big company, comes over to say hi again, we had met him before and he took all the free cake that was on offer last time, of course he did, comes to say hi. ( hes after more cake ).

As he continues to talk to us about his booming business that caters to 250 weddings a year and 8 alone just yesterday ( yeah right ) is talking about his successful business to my sister in law while I listen in sat a few seats away.

As he continues to talk I suddenly prick my ears as I hear him say to Sacha that he actually doesn't like the whole vintage idea, and in all the time hes been doing these fairs he hasn't seen this before and "all you have done is throw a few cups and saucers on a table"  he then follows with "this business will be dead in two years as it wont be popular" I mean what the ?????????  How dare he? Who does he think he is?  He has happily come over to her stand and eaten all the free cake but then will rudely and nastily say that the business is no good?  Who does this man think he is?  And all the while I can see my sister in law getting more upset as hes talking.  He obviously thought you can throw comments around like that and  it not affect anyone?  What he did was unkind and thoughtless.

A business that has been going years actually, and this is a new division of, a business that actually has been formed from years of collecting highly priced vintage china ware, years of serving hertfordhsire amazing cakes that still are the best in the area, and a whole week of packing and wrapping every individual piece of china, knife fork, vases, plates.  Not ikea china thrown on a table in 5 mins.

You can imagine my anger.

So as he left our table as some customers came over to us, as they had all day as they are very ineterested, I  sat in shock.  After a few moments someone else came from his stand to say that the cake looked ovely, she had taken some last time too.   So I mentioned to her that her colleague and her would not be having any cake this week as her friend was rude. So she apologised and left sheepishly.

About 20 mins later the man returned. Head down looking a bit sorry for himself, he  came over to apologise.   How lovely of him to come back after he knows full well he had just put someones business down and made them feel rubbish. ER NO I DONT THINK SO!!!

So as he walked over to apologise I stood up . EEK......He says " Im sorry I think i've said something that upset you.... I said " yes, thank you for coming over and apologising but it means nothing. How dare you come over to our table eat our food then tell us you do not like the concept and put the business down, you have upset us , and made my sister in law feel awful, your words were hurtful uncalled for and unecessary" so he says " er er er i was just voicing my opinion " I said well your opinion is not wanted and if it is negative say nothing.

I would never dream of coming to your stand which by the way I think is awful and telling you that.   My sister in law has worked hard to create this business and is just starting up it is a horrible thing to tell someone to knock their confidence, your apology means nothing to us so leave  please.   And with that he left head down and hid behind his stand the rest of the afternoon.

Should I have said nothing? Maybe someone else would have, but I think for me  my natural reaction of protection towards someone important to me came through.

 I mean why would any nice, kind thoughtful human be so nasty to someone who obviously has a business which they love and are passionate about.  Why would you say anything derogatory about someone else's business who they do not know anything about.


I think anyone who is trying to do something to make money is out there trying, you can't knock that.  I try different things all the time, I do so many different things under my Perfect me umbrella from wedding planning to wardrobe styling.   If anyone ever said to me you try to many things stick to one, id be upset.  Maybe it is because when people are uneducated they don't know they dont know how to act or respond in a tactful way.

 We are all allowed our personal thoughts, no one can stop that, but when it is said outright in someones face to them direct it's not nice.

What we say to each other,  to our friends is one thing.  We all say things about people, businesses, celebrities, friends, we all moan whinge and whine, even about our own family and friends and if you say you don't then you're not being truthful.   But when it is said in public so everyone else can hear, and that be-littles you in such a way that brings you tears, that's a bully, that is someone who is so insecure in their own life, jealous and nasty.  There is no other motive other than to hurt someone. Why would anyone make anyone else feel like that?

I know I am not innocent, I would be the first to admit it,  I have said things I'm not proud of in private to my friends and family, 'Id be lieing if I said I never had and so would you,  but nothing to someone who is out there trying to make their business work and do good.

 If you dont like something, dont use it, dont watch it, dont try it. No one forces you in life to do anything you don't want to.

Life's too short.  Be polite be kind, be thoughtful.

Courtesy costs nothing and benefits all.

That was my school motto and generally I try to stick to it. x

Home Sweet Home

Wow, the last time I wrote, I had just found my birth mother, so much has happened since then that I have to remember we have only been home 16 weeks, which has flown by.   

We still haven’t caught up with people we haven’t seen since we left last year.   And now I come to think of I haven’t really had time to let it sink in as to how much we really have done or what a life changing year it had been for me in finding my real mum, getting married and coming home.

Coming home was never going to be easy for either for us, we were coming home to a different life then we were used to before, we are coming back married, which is the most amazing feeling for me. for us both, but just amazing to finally be in a  good place, not lost ,not knowing where I was going or what I was doing with my life.  Im in an amazing place. 

Life is different, but in the best possible way.

Now I was coming home  a married woman, many would never have thought it, but here I am with my new husband, and he was there all along, I was just to blind to see it. 

I have changed in the way I am, the way I think, I don’t just live for me anymore I have someone else to think about in everything I do, which I love.  I am happy and safe in the knowledge that whatever happens now we have one another and can make anything happen if we work hard enough to do so together.  We have shared goals and challenges that we face every day but we have one another to support, encourage and enjoy the rest of our lives together.

So it has been 16 weeks and in this time, we have managed to throw a wedding party, find a home to rent in the area we want, re decorate this home, furnish it completely, find work, start our own businesses back up, start new ideas, market these business and get work and actually settle down into a town we love surrounded by the family we love and not far from the friends who we have missed and can now see whenever we want.

The greatest thing for me about being home is being back amongst our friends, being close to my mum, my new family, having the support system around you that you need when your newly married, and planning your life.   Who wants to be so far away from the people you love that you feel alone.  I think everyone needs to be around their friends and family especially when you are newly married and planning a family together.   It makes for a good life being surrounded by good friends and family. 

Nothing is ever easy especially when you come home to very little, finding regular work is hard when your self employed, finding work is hard full stop when you don’t have a job, whatever country your in.  For me finding work in Australia was torture, I didn’t want to work in a bar or basically do anything I wasn’t use to, I couldn't just waltz in and expect to do the work I did here or even anything close to that, my visa wouldn't allow it, I had no choice but to work outside my comfort zone and just get a long with what I had to. I could no longer do what I pleased and just get by, I had to do what I had to so we could save, save to get married, and start a future back home. Dont get me wrong I had some amazing times, but it was neve home to me. It never could have been. 

Thank god for our family in Australia allowing us the opportunity to do that by letting us share their family home and supporting us, which for anyone is never easy, family or not, invading your space. But that’s what family do, and on returning home we were lucky enough we had family here that allowed us the same opportunity to stay and support us until we found our own home and got back on our feet.

So now we are here, settled, happy, reuniting with our best friends and enjoying the surroundings of our new home, soaking in the English way of life again and loving it, loving having our friends near and our family closer. 

But most of all being able to say we did it, we wanted to get married, we did, we wanted to settle back home, we did, we wanted to find a beautiful little cottage in an area we love, we did, and work in the jobs we want to, doing what we love, well....we are almost there.  Now to get around the landlord and get the dog we want.  Mmm .........this maybe a bit harder.

So onto the next chapter of our lives… what will it bring us?  All I know is I am happy, we are happy and this married life is not so bad at all xxxx x  Im a very lucky girl xxx 

Back to the beginning .

Firstly I will apologise, for some reason the last few blogs don't allow me to do any paragraphs so I am talking in one continuos block, so sorry. So ..... We arrive in sri Lanka to greet Lucien. Lucien is the man we had been put in touch with who is a tour guide and knows all the places I want to visit in Sri Lanka to re visit my history and possibly find out more information about my birth mother, as i am at this point still unaware of her whereabouts or existence . Lucien is a tall very smiley looking man who looks cuddly and warm !!! He walks towards us as we come out of arrivals " Dilhani, you are finally here, welcome " I introduce Charley and no sooner has he introduced himself he takes my arm and tells me " I have Very good news for you, I have located your birth mother , and she wishes to meet you on Monday "   WTF?????? ????????!!! I had literally just landed in Sri Lanka and he had found her? All he had to go by was my birth certificate !! But I later learn he has reunited over 52 families so this is his speciality. I feel a sudden wave of emotion come over me as I look at charley in disbelief and shock, that the moment I have been imagining of my whole life is here, the woman I have always wanted to meet, wants to meet me too. I can feel myself well up and understandingly so I can't stop the tears. I compose myself as I begin to imagine what she must be thinking, how she is?  Where is she? What does she looks like now? I begin to bombard Lucien with all these questions  !  Have you seen her? Who did you speak to? How did you find her? What about my father? Does she have children? He tells me he knows very little but that she now lives in a city and works for the government, she is now married and has a child ... An adopted child !!  She never had more children naturally !! Already I am thinking why would she adopt herself did she feel guilty ? Was it too traumatic? Was she a victim of abuse and couldn't bear a mans touch ? All these things were racing through my mind, good bad and ugly, not much positive. Lucien assured me that she was well, and very excited to meet me after all these years. I couldn't quite believe it, this moment had come and I had only been back in Sri Lanka 15 minutes and already this time would be different to the last and I would be leaving having met my birth mother, what was going to happen when I did? So we got to our hotel and left Lucien agreeing to meet him on Monday when he would take me to meet my birth mother. In the meantime I was to write down any questions I wanted to ask and just relax and prepare for this meeting. To be honest I didn't know what I felt, I was slightly nervous but just unsure of what to expect. I knew in my mind, well I have always told myself that my mum now, Freda is my mum and that's all that matters, so whatever would happen that would not change, and I certainly didn't want to form a mother daughter relationship with this woman i Didnt know, so I suppose that calmed me. To me this was just meeting someone I am meant to meet. So Monday came and I felt good, I was confident, I had Charley with me, thank god, and we began the long journey to my home town of Galagadera, this was the place I was born, and this was the place she was coming to meet me. She lives in a city now further away, but we were meeting at the house of her family friends. The same friends who also had another house directly in the town where I later learned she stayed when she was pregnant. So we arrive in Galagedera and we are to meet the man who Lucien found who was shown as the " caretaker " of my mother when I was born. This i later learned was also not true. He was not. But anyway. He jumps into the car extremely excited and somewhat nervous at my arrival, he talks non stop about how well Lucien did to find my mother and him and how he had managed this with just my birth certifcate,Charley and I stare at each other trying not to laugh at his constant flow of verbal diarrhoea that he has, that we barely understand, but it's quite sweet, he is excited, I liked that. We drive 5 minutes to his house and as we struggle to park this huge mini bus on a steep drive i can see women hovering at the door of his house next door. I try an look but cannot see who is who from where I am as there are several women. I gingerly jump out of the van and follow this man down the hill towards the front door, awaiting are 3 women all big smiles tears in their eyes, but one is standing in the middle of the doorway, quietly with here head almost tilting down, " this is your mother " he says. I hug her awkwardly and don't really take her appearance or anything else in, just say hi, nice to finally meet you and follow them inside this house. I introduce charley to everyone, and we take a seat. There are 4 other women plus my birth mother all just stood staring at us. My birth mother walks over and plants herself next to me and just stares up at me. She is much smaller than me ( can you believe, in height I mean ) long long plaited black thick hair to her bottom, glasses, dark skin and a simple shirt and skirt on. I don't know what I ever imagined her to look like but she is a far cry for anyone I would have picked in a line up. I don't really know what to say to her, so I start by just saying thank you for agreeing to meet me, she just smiles and nods her head, it is clear she speaks little English, she is just shy and child like, nervous and in shock I think of what is happening. The child she gave up all those years ago is now sitting next to her, asking how she is, I can't imagine what it must feel like for her. She looks scared so I take her hand and tell her it's ok, that I'm happy to be here and that I have led a very happy life and I am grateful that she gave me up as I now have a lovely husband and wonderful parents. I tell her about my mum , and show her pictures of my parents, our wedding, and explain how lucky I have been. This is all translated by Lucien, so she just smiles and nods constantly, and looks at me. It all feels strange for me, I don't feel upset until she looks at me and says " I'm sorry" I tell her it's okay and she shouldn't be sorry, and that it wasn't her fault, I am happy really happy. I look at charley as I try to contain my tears but it's all too much, the tears don't last that long however and I manage to try and make her feel better by saying our hair is the same, long and strong, we both have small feet, small hands, I find myself looking for things that are similar, but there is nothing....well not that I can see. They begin to tell me that she was In her 20s, the other woman here is her sister in law, this woman married my birth mothers brother, she also had a brother, who my birth mother slept with. So I was meeting my real aunts now, my second blood relative I would meet. For her brother was my father. It turns out he died two years ago. He had cancer which became so bad he could not bear the pain, so he jumped off a bridge and committed suicide. Tragic end .....so they will try and send me a photo of him. So she became pregnant with his child ( which of course was not allowed as they were in laws by marriage ) and had to go away and hide. Her brother( this aunts husband) also died a few years ago. He was the one who took her to stay in the house to hide while she was pregnant, and it was the people's house we were in now where she hid. Well not this house In Particular but they had a house elsewhere where she hid till I was 7 days old. It was then she took me to the orphanage she had heard about in Kandy. So I was 7 days old when she last saw me, she had told her parents that she was staying at her friends to study, and I supposed they believed her,they still to this day do not know of my existence and neither do her husband now or son who she adopted 13 years ago. Which is why she had come to this friends house today as they were the only ones who knew about me and what she done all those years ago, they were the ones who helped hide her. So my aunty and my mother both upset and happy that I had finally come to meet them, she says they Had tried to find out my whereabouts but had little facilities to do this, whether this is true or not I wasn't sure and I didn't really care. All that went through my mind while I sat there was how lucky I am, how everything I have learned about Sri Lanka, the food the country the people, everything I have learned about everything in the world to this date is because of my parents now, for it is them that gave me an education and life lessons, them that taught me how to tie my shoe laces, play with other children nicely, share, love and become the woman I am today, no one else helped in that just them and it was them that took me to the uk to give me the opportunities I had to be whoever I wanted to be. Of course I was grateful to my birth mother and I thanked her numerous times for going through with the pregnancy and giving me that chance of life she couldn't. I am eternally grateful. I just didn't feel any connection to want to start a relationship with her now and become her daughter again in any way. I was happy I had finally met her and learnt a bit about my history, found out if the are any illnesses, other children anywhere , my fathers whereabouts, all this I now know and for me that is enough. So I took their address and promised I would send a photo when I have children and stay in touch now and again. Maybe I will, and often already I look at her photo and think wow, this is where it all began and look at me now. So what have I taken from this experience ?? Well.... That I am the luckiest child I know. Thank you for giving me a start, you were the beginning but my parents are the end and for that I am ever grateful. Now I know where I came from I can focus on where I'm going x at last xxxxxxxx

Honeymoon Hopping

Honeymoon hopping!! Wow, so the wedding was over the guests have all flown home and all that is left is us. What an amazing two weeks we had with everyone, the perfect blend of both sets of our friends and family who joined us to celebrate our wedding day. The build up was so much fun, we drank a lot, laughed a lot and just got to know people better than we had before, all of us relaxed and mixing with people you may have never met but quickly become friends with in the short time  spent together. The time leading up to the wedding was spent catching up with people  who had travelled  far and wide to come and Share our day which was amazing !! But now it was just us again. It has been a long time since We have been alone just us as we had come from sharing  house with 6 of our family in Australia to 2 weeks of entertaining 35 people to just us . So bye bye Sanur, Bali, 1st stop  of our honeymoon , Gilli  islands; So the speed boat over was ok, safe not to choppy but I'm never tht comfortable on the water , as you know, I can't swim well so doggie paddle in the Indian ocean probably won't last long!!' thank god charley can swim for us both, I hope !!! We arrived in gilli to a barrage of men by the beach fighting to get the tourists to jump on their horse and cart for a ride to our chosen destination . Gilli islands have no motorized transport and is this beautiful island with only 400 odd families living there, all it consists of is one main Path that you can walk around in 2 and a half hours which will take you through the busiest stretches of bars and restaurants to  mile of untouched Natural beauty of green forests one side and crystal blue waters and white sands to the other , it is beautiful. So we are newcomers and as the man with the horse and cart shouted out our villa name we automatically thought he was our transfer and jumped in, little did we know until he had taken us through  this main tiny road where barely two carts can fit and the roads are just natural sand and dirt bumping up and  down that he was gonna charge us at the end !!!  Sneaky little man .... So we arrive at our hotel resort which is the only 5star resort on this tiny island, it's a beautiful beach hut , just off the beach path , tucked behind some tress in view of the clear  blue sea and white sands!! Heaven !! Our room is a perfect blend of modern and traditional Balinese with an outdoor bathroom ( which always scares me a bit as I expect a snake or reptile to be jumping out at me every time I go out ) but they don't of course ! The biggest thing you see are the geckos ! Our home for 2 nights is perfect, the sun is blazing again after a few days of rain and we can finally unwind, enjoy the beautiful surroundings the peaceful morning walks around the island and the bustle of the main streets when we want to eat and drink !! For many gilli is known as a party island , cheap accomodation, perfect for backpackers, good for snorkelling and you can get away with far more than you can in Bali if you catch my drift !! Everyone is friendly and welcoming , the Balinese people in general are lovely, such a friendly country with so much to give even though they are still relatively a struggling country with little but tourism to make ends meet. Roads and shops are still basic shells offering much of the same goods in each one, from huts to the side of the road selling fruit and hats and wooden gifts to men with cake stalls on the back of their motorbikes. Most of Bali and gilli have a Long way to come in modernist ion which is what makes it so lovey still , natural and humbling to any traveller. Genuine people with genuine shared goals to just get by. So Gilli islands bought us the r and r we needed, it was beautiful peaceful and busy when we wanted, and what's more we made some friends , another couple who were celebrating their 3 rd year anniversary , from the uk , lovely couple, well travelled and who  we would end up meeting again in seminyak. So all in all an amazing start to our honeymoon, next stop Lombok!!' What a start!!' we jumped into. Private speed boat to whisk us to our next location as it was only a 10 min journey from the gilli islands to Lombok.  As you approach Lombok you can already see the  difference in the unspoiled beauty of the island, all you see is beautiful green trees and forests covering the mountains  surrounded by  untouched beaches , there is little at  first to see just lush tropical forests . As we pull in you start to see island life, again simple and beautiful. Our transfer meets us off the boat which thankfully got us there In one piece !! We start our drive through these Roads which take us through the mountains and small minimal towns with shops and wooden huts at the sides of the road, much like bali and gilli but not as many . There is a part of the road we go down which is being fixed , rocky as you can imagine digger trucks literally digging up huge holes as the driver slowly drives over and down this steep hill which is like a advert for a 4x4 as only a 4x4 could handle this incline and hugely uneven surface ! It's scary to say the least and we are not in a 4x4 !!! Eeeeek ! We somehow manage not to turn the car as we get to the bottom of the hill and continue our journey to hotel tugu, this is our most luxurious place we are staying in this honeymoon that we chose so how happy we are when we arrive and it is more than we could imagine !' Hotel tugu is one of those places you see in films , no one on the private beach white sands Blue seas, perfectly manicured lawns, rolling drives , and hand built beautiful traditional Buildings all open to the natural surroundings, no doors and windows apart from in your bedroom , bathrooms outdoor rain showers , infinity pools everywhere , and a four poster bed for for a King , well a king and queen for this week please !!' Amazing, peaceful relaxing and in the middle of absolutely nowhere by the way so we had no choice but to relax unwind and enjoy the amazing service, food and drink  and activities that came as part of our honeymoon package. The service from the tugu was unrivaled I mean even your handbag gets its own Chair type of service ! Hand written notes before your breakfast lunch and dinner to wish you a Happy meal written on a banana leave, constant topping up water wine whatever you wish for, private massages overlooking the sea, the romantic dinner for two in the 300 year old temple , cooking classes,To the most serene spa , even if Charley did have the world weight lifting woman to massage him, it was heaven, from the minute we arrived till our leaving gifts as we left.  It was the luxury we wanted in the time we wanted and the service we lavished . Next stop back to Bali ! Jimbaran. Bay here we come! So we came back to Bali for our  last 3 nights before we leave for Malaysia . The ahimsa villa was to be our home for the next few nights! We had decided to meet up with Charley's uncle and aunt for their last night in Bali before they left so we met them back at the Hyatt, how strange it felt to not see any familiar faces around the pool but lovely to see them even after a few days on our own we were excited to share our first few days honeymoon with them . The four of us travelled to the ahimsa  so they could see where we were staying and we weren't disappointed!! The villa was beautiful, plunge pool, open plan, open bathrooms outdoor baths modern and stylish and just a few mins walk from the beach ! So off we went! For a stroll along the beach.    Jimbaran is known for an amazing sunset and beaches , so how lucky we were to have arrived just before the sun was setting and how lovely for our family to see this on their last night . As we strolled along the beach wr came across a group from a hotel who were releasing baby turtles back  Into the sea! Apparently if they can make it past the first few waves they will live for 50 years , well so far they paddle out and wave brings them back then back out they go then in then out!!! So funny and cute to watch!!! I wonder if they made it? So Jimbaran bay was beautiful, peaceful and relaxing a lovely end to our stay in Indonesia, next stop Malaysia. Wow honeymoon part 4 .. All I can say is even as a serious experienced shopper,even I got dizzy at the vast amount of malls and the sheer size of each one !!! One mall had 10 floors with over 1500 shops or more!!! I mean most of these weren't great but like with all shopping you always find hidden gems in the ones you wouldn't expect to. We pretty much covered every main mall and street and market in kuala lumpur ( poor Charley , he's a patient man) all the main central shops,and Some, even I had had enough of strolling the shops not before I had made a few purchases of course! So malaysia did exactly what we wanted a few days of intense shopping not much sight seeing but a vast knowledge of the malls covered, thank you Malaysia .. Oh and your rooftop bar at our hotel was amazing!! Just gutted we never found that Michelin star satay man!!! Next stop ..... Last stage of our honeymoon, back to my motherland and who knows what adventures will lie ahead there?  It's been a whilr since I came and to be honest I didn't take it all in as much as I will be this time and I certainly will be making the most of every day, we have lots to do find out, places and friends to visit !! Very exciting times ahead for the next two weeks .... I'll let you know how it turns out! Wish us luck xx

Mr and mrs carter !!

Wow we did it! We are finally married after only 9 months of planning, saving, worrying, and over a year of being back together we have committed to a life together which couldn't feel better, I am loving being Mr and mrs carter!! ( now where's that joint account card?) he he xx  So when we last spoke It was the morning of our wedding and the rain had just stopped turn 9 am. Well...... It started again... And bless My best friend claire trying  to reassure me all will be fine as we all sit under the canopy of the pool bar ,wishful thinkng while it continued tO rain !  So Charley and the Boys were probably getting wet playing golf and I knew he would be stressing about the weather as I was and all I wanted to do was see him and make sure he was ok   ! I knew he would remain calm though! He's too much of a cool cat to panic or care  about the rain but I know he wanted sunshine as much as I did , I mean who goes to.bali for rain! Damn weather !  It was time to go visit the wedding planner I think and see what the call so far would be if it continued to rain.   She wasn't good at hiding her disappointment in the weather, after 10 glorious days of sunshine it rains on the only day we need it not to , but apparently good luck do they say!!! Didn't feel like it yet! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! So she tells me  we shall make the decision at 2 pm. The wedding is at 5 !! Eek!  So  off we strolled to get our fresh manicure and pedicures  and all i Can think about  is everyone disappointed wet and Miserable,  the different setting that the  wedding tables will  now be in on the inside, our hair dresses, suits!  We had wanted and planned the whole wedding on the beach , the service, the cocktail hour , the candlelit beach dinner , everything, now it will all be shoved. Into this crappy indoor hall ! Well not crappy but that's how I felt about this beautiful traditional Balinese building! Which at least would be  Much cooler for people than the beach really.  I was trying to keep an open mind and of course Claire was assuring me that no matter what it will be perfect, but you just can't see that when all u see is rain!  So halfway through our treatments as I stare out the window praying the rain-would stop , Ian our best  Man and our friend mo came in to ask me what I wanted to do about the service as a decision had to be made and charley didn't want to make it alone!  So it  was still raining and that meant it had to be held indoors.  As he left with my half hearted agreement that we had no choice I could feel myself well up , I had been good up until now,the realization that what we had both planned perfectly would now  be different ! I was gutted , but what else could we do ? Nothing . The poor nail technician tryjng to paint my nails while tears are streaming down my face....She's lucky I had tears in my eyes and wasnt focused on the color she was painting my nails! Dear god I'm glad I was preoccupied !!  Silver nails? Mmm not what I'd planned but at that time I could focus on nothing but my perfectly planned wedding ruined by the weather!!!!  So we returned to our room to start getting ready and the phone rang, it was Charley  to say not to worry and and he  had rearranged things and all will still be amazing,  I think speaking to him made me realize that this was out our control but we were going to make the most of it and really who cared , all that mattered was us getting married.  That's why I married him because no matter what he will make me feel good about everything and be there to put my mind at ease.  So with that  I started to relax and get  ready, time to start enjoy my wedding preparations with my most amazing best friend who had travelled all this way just to be by my side , how lucky I am!!!!'  So in no less than 5 mins from charley hanging up, a bottle of champagne arrived for us both to enjoy while we got ready!!!   Perfect ( oh and that's another reason I married him, he knows how to change my mood quick )  I was starting to get excited and forget the worries of the rain !!  so a few glasses down, hair done by me ( so not really done that well but more than I've ever done myself to it!!  )and of course perfected  by Claire, make up simple and natural, dresses veil and  sandals on,  we were ready .....  Jaison turned up at the door looking very dapper and it started to feel real , this was it .. I had my two best friends with me, one walking me down the aisle and one in front of me.  It was perfect , yes I wish my mum could have been here and my dad to see how happy I finally am but hey, u can never have it all can you and i know my mum was there in spirit and my dad watching over us and in the place that was sentimental to charley too , perfect x  The wedding procession arrived to walk me to the wedding ceremony In the full traditional Balinese style.Crazy but amazing .Claire Jaison and I were laughing and joking and enjoying every pre wedding moment together as we began the long walk.  It  turned out the rain stopped enough for the wedding ceremony  to go ahead on the beach, thank god, I had no idea what would be set up when I walked around  the corner. The walk began and not one part of me felt anything but happiness and excitement for what was about to Happen! I felt amazing, confident and genuinely happier than I ever have been and then suddenly all I could see round the corner was charley , his big grin and smile just made me feel secure and relaxedthe weather was the last thing on my mind and didn't come back as a worry again after that point, the moment I had waited for my whole life was here and it was perfect !!!  Our wedding service was amazing, happy, funny, silly and everything we both are as a couple together in love and laughter and pure happiness  It didn't go without a hitch  but it all worked and added to the fun !!   A ll of our friends that were there appeared to have fun and join in what for us was an amazing day filled with genuine love for us both from everyone there, it really was the happiest day of my life. So as Etta james sang as I walked towards charley to become his wife  "at last......a love has come my way......my lonely days are gone"  And  as we danced our first Dance as mr and mrs carter every meaning of the song  "so amazing " rang   true:  " love has truly Been  good to me , not even one sad day or minute have I had since you came my way, byebye sadness , hello mellow  , I'm happy as I can be, its so amazing to be loved I'd follow you to the moon and the stars above" 

Here comes the bride !!

Here comes the bride x  So it is finally here, the day we have been working towards for the last 9 months. All the hard work,planning, emails, phone calls, meetings, are no more. We have had the most amazing week with all our friends and family, as you can imagine the last 10 days have been crazy busy, entertaining people and makimg sure everyone  is having a great time. It is never easy planning  a wedding as anyone who has got married will know, and normally you dont see anyone untill  the day,  but of course with a destination wedding everyone has time to spend together and go out and get to know one another more, which has beeen amazing, some great friedships have been made.  Charley has been amazing of course flitting from one group of people to another making sure everyone is being looked after properly and involved in everything we do if they wish. It is not easy but he has made this week so special for everyone involved and made them  all so welcone and comfortable. So the morning of the weddding day is here and  of course I couldnt not write about it, plus I am killing  time, keeping busy.  You have all followed me/us in this build up the whole way from the beginning of our love story to today. So it is important I gave you a quick update.  So In true me style I am up at the crack of dawn, fidgeting about, only this time i have my bestie next to  me snoozing on and off, poor Claire, she has been amazing this whole week we have been together, I dont know how I have coped this last 15 months without her, especially today, reassuring me it will stop raining. Rain, i hear you say? Yes RAIN IN BALI , when it has been scorchng all week, typical it has rained last night to clear the air and is just slowing down now, i am hoping it will as that would be very unfortunate, but hey ho, i dont care...rain no rain, i am still so excited. Plus of course we have a back up plan, just not as ideal of course.  Fingers and toes crossed please.  Luckly we have till 5 for it to clear. However the boys had a mornng of  pre wedding golf planned, lets hope it clears for them too as we are meant to be avoiding each other all day, hence the reason I Stayed with claire. So i am actually feeling Calm so far, despite the rain.i know that i am 1 million percent making the right decision,so that has never been in doubt, and my pre weddinng jitters dont seem to he here yet, but it is 7am, and i have the whole day to get through. I just dont want to be a blubbering bride and not even be able to say my vows, that is my only concern....but im feeling strong so far,so lets hope.  I opened my wedding gift book from my girlfriends last night so got as much crying out the way then, it was beautiful filled with messages from my best friends who couldnt make it today, but i know will be thinking of me.  So i have my wedding bikni on and as soon as this rain stops we are offf to the pool, which in the time I am writing this it has !!!!!! Woop wooo wooo x x.   So breakfast,bathing, manicure pedicures, hair and I am good to go!   I wonder what Charleys thinking at the moment ?  Thank you everyone who supported  me/ us throughout this last year and helped make it possible for this day to happen.   Off I go  to marry the most amazing man in the world !!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodbye Dilly Mudalige Helllo Dilly Carter. X x x x x x. X x

3 weeks today..... x

I cannot believe I have only 10 days left in Australia, I know I have already mentioned about this last year being life changing etc etc but I am days away from leaving Australia for Bali to become a married woman, and I cannot wait.   We both left the UK single and will be soon returning to our friends and family in the UK as Mr and Mrs Carter. Woop woo x x

The dress and suits have been picked up the wedding bands off to be cleaned, bags almost packed, suncream bought, all we have left to do is get on the plane and leave, well actually thats not all, I still have to confirm the table decor when I get there as I have no idea what they plan to do, and see the layout for the  actual wedding reception and ceremony oh and sign the legal forms to say we are who we are and can officially even get married in Bali, but asides from that we are good to go!! Oh and Charley still hasn't found his perfect wedding shoes yet !!!!!

We have literally arranged the whole wedding over email, and of course I have never even been to Bali so I am trusting that it is as beautiful as Charley promises and more.....I know it will be  x

I cannot wait for what lies ahead for both of us, and what being married will bring.  I have wanted to be married for forever and always imagined what it would feel like to want to spend forever with somebody.

The amazing thing is it is exactly as I dreamed but even better, I have a man who I know one million per cent loves me for me and wouldn't change me for the world and will be by my side through thick and thin forever and who I love unconditionally in the same way.

We have an amazing 5 weeks honeymoon ahead in Bali, Lombok, Malaysia then Sri Lanka, which will take us on some amazing experiences and journeys together visiting some beautiful countries and enjoying our first weeks as a married couple, which we are both so excited for, soon all our hard work this year will be rewarded.

 I am under no illusions that it will be a smooth journey forever, no matter how much we love one another,  we have a lot to face together when we return to the UK and our future together as do all newlyweds.

Finding a house for a start to rent, saving for a mortgage,  getting furniture, finding work, building our nest so we can start a family,what if we can't have a family? what if there is little work for us?

 All of this we have to face and be aware of, but the best thing about being married is we will have the total support of each other to do it, and so far we haven't done bad to achieve our plans whilst remaining totally in love, so if  we haven't killed each other yet then........well thats a pretty good sign.

We have single handedly paid for our own wedding, honeymoon abroad  and reception in the UK all of which we are very proud, so I have no doubt that with the continued support from our families and friends, and our own hard work, our new start in the UK will bring us everything we deserve.

Exciting times ahead for the soon to be Mr and Mrs Carter... I wonder whats round the corner, 3 weeks and counting...xx

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